Erin

Meet Erin, 38 weeks pregnant and a nurse in a neonatal ICU.

Well into our conversation, Erin shared that her last shift is the day before her due date. She expressed worry that if she tests positive for the virus at delivery, it is recommended that she separates from her baby for two weeks. In that moment, there was no stopping the built up emotion and tears. There was no holding back as I took a few moments to cry and breathe, we both did. It’s the hardest I’ve cried while capturing any of the mothers.

In those tears, I felt the weight of her job. The sacrifice, the risk. That she had chosen to save and care for these babies. Our babies. And because of this, there is a possibility she could miss the first two weeks of her baby boy's life. Those first two weeks full of bliss, fog, exhaustion and an insurmountable amount of love.

Erin, thank you for taking care of our babies. Thank you for being so brave and for choosing this life of care and service. You are special and please don't ever forget that. All of your patients are so fortunate but most of all, your son will learn your heart and he'll be a better person because of it. The best kind there is.

Words by Erin:
“When this all started, I didn’t want to believe it was as serious as it was. It quickly became undeniably serious and that’s when my anxiety really started to escalate. Being pregnant with my first baby and working full time in a hospital with so many positive cases was overwhelming. Some days it felt like a heavy weight was placed on my chest. This isn’t how I ever imagined I would feel during pregnancy- a time that should be full of joy and excitement. I try my hardest to remain positive and hopeful but I am human and cannot think this way all of the time. Sometimes I dwell on the fear- especially as my due date gets closer- that I will get the virus and have to separate from my baby.

When I woke up one morning at the end of March with pain every time I took I deep breath, I was convinced I had covid-19. My OB didn’t think my symptoms were related to the virus, but she wanted me to go to the ER and be ruled out for a blood clot.

That was a scary day and my husband wasn’t allowed to come with me due to visitor restrictions. I ended up being diagnosed with pneumonia- which prompted my doctors to want me to be tested for covid. Thankfully it was negative and I was feeling better after a few days of antibiotics.

I often remind myself I am extremely fortunate to work in a unit that is much safer than others, with much less risk of exposure. My coworkers are also amazing and truly look out for me and my baby.

So many people are looking forward to getting out of their houses and back to normal life. I just can’t wait for my baby to arrive and to stay home with him.”