Kim

The below words were bravely written by Kim, the mother of Piper, 1.5 years old. Kim is an Certified Nurse Anesthetist but is currently working with COVID-19 positive patients in the ICU. I will admit, these photographs are hard to look at. They show how difficult all of these changes are for our children, especially for a household with two essential working parents on the front lines. I know I see it in my home too. This change is difficult for every one of us.

Kim, thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with us. Most of all, thank you for caring for our loved ones. For holding their hand and whispering kind words to the mothers, fathers, sons and daughters who pass away all by themselves. Your strength is our light that unites us. Your little Piper is so lucky to have a brave mother who cares so deeply for others and does everything you can to comfort them and their families during this great time in need.

Words by Kim:
“Much of my anxiety as a mother and just a human being, in general, stems from the tremendous sense of loss I feel. When I go to work, something that I normally love and that makes me feel whole - I am faced with the loss of my career. I am no longer giving anesthesia to patients in the operating room. I am managing the care of COVID positive ICU patients. Feeling a loss of myself, as a healthcare provider, because I have to put myself and my safety before that of the patient. Feeling the loss of hope for these patients as they die alone, without their loved ones near, without a non-gloved hand to hold. Feeling the loss of connecting to friends and family because they will never understand the full gravity of what I have seen and felt working on the frontlines.

When I’m home, I feel the loss of myself as a mother because I am emotionally spread so thin. Feeling the loss of our routine as a family - to waking up on weekend mornings and planning what fun adventures (outside our home) we will have together. As we took these photos, and my sweet 1.5 year old sobbed on my lap the whole time, I realized how her emotions reflect so rawly what I wish I could also express. These photos of us don’t need all of these words to speak volumes.”